Hard times create strong men (people)
Strong men (people) create good times
Good times create weak men (people)
Weak men (people)create hard times.
G. Michael Hopf
Self-sacrifice and self-discipline aren’t popular ‘self’ words in our current urban dictionary.
Yet if we do a deep dive into anyone who has achieved something more than the ordinary, we find that self-discipline has been key to reaching their goals.
Popular psychology tells us that we will be happy and fulfilled when our lives are lived with the goal of what is best for ‘me.’
“… Research on lay beliefs about happiness suggests that self-control is not on top of people’s minds when thinking about a good life. However … ample research demonstrates beneficial effects of self-control on multiple parameters of happiness.” states Denise de Ridder in her December 2024 article Can self-control make you happy?
Multiple studies support this finding. Contrary to popular belief, the road to joy and a good life leads through the path of self-discipline and sacrifice.
Not surprisingly, Jesus stated this unpopular truth over 2000 years ago.
“Jesus said to all of His followers, ‘If you truly desire to be my disciple, you must disown your life completely,embrace my ‘cross’ as your own and surrender to My ways. For if you choose self-sacrifice, giving up your lives for my glory, you will discover true life.
But if you choose to keep your lives for yourselves, you will lose what you try to keep.
Even if you gained all the wealth and all the things it could offer you, yet you lost your soul in the process, what good is that?” (Luke 9:23-25 The Passion Translation)
The NLT version adds that he said the above ‘to the crowd.’
To everyone.
No one was excluded from the opportunity. The NLT phrases it as, “you must give up your own way…”
The Amplified versions says, “[set aside selfish interests]..”
The Complete Jewish Bible says, “let him say ‘no’ to himself, take up his execution stake daily …” (!!)
The word deny in the Greek = disown or abstain, the word cross in the Greek = self-denial.
There is so much going on in these verses.
Jesus invited everyone to become His disciple.
Recently, I have learned that a disciple in Jesus’ day was an ‘all-in kind of commitment’. Disciples of that time would be comparable to our understanding of a Victorian era apprentice. One left their home and went and lived with the teacher/master, effectively becoming a servant who learned through observation. Learning, not only the craft or teaching of the master but more importantly, their thoughts, actions, responses and preferences until they could imitate them completely, not only in skill but also in character and worldview. (Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus, by Ann Spangler and Lois Tverberg ch4. )
Eventually, one could tell who the master was by observing the student/disciple. Which makes the observation referring to Peter and John … “They have been with Jesus…” (Acts 4:13) understandable on a whole new level.
But one can’t become a true disciple without self-discipline. Self-sacrifice.
Disciple / Discipline. Same.
Self-sacrifice does not mean a literal killing of oneself, but instead a submission of your way to Jesus’ way.
So, what does this look like in real life?
It means we are willing to give up (put on an altar) everything ‘self’ wants and release our choice or opinion in favour of the ultimate goal of becoming like Jesus, a disciple in the true sense of the word.
My goals. My right to respond to my triggers. My priorities. My idea of how things should go.
And we’re like, “That’s it. I’m out. Not for me.”
But I’ve learned through trial and error that Jesus never asks you to give up something without giving far more in return.
Upon reflection, I have always been far happier with the outcome when done His way.
The person I am becoming on the other side of this, leaving my will behind, is kinder.
More compassionate.
More patient.
Has more faith.
Is more contemplative.
And most amazingly of all … has a better filter on my mouth! Lol.
And I regret nothing that has been left on the altar of self-sacrifice to get this far.
Self, at first glance, is attractive and appeals to our senses, but when indulged, it feels gross after a while and strangely unsatisfying. It always needs more – like an addiction. I don’t think one ever feels truly satisfied, just ‘overstuffed’ like eating so much you feel sick.
But leaving the ‘things’ on the altar burns them away – clean. No baggage. Almost always through suffering or a difficult circumstance of some kind!
But always with the choice of how to respond. Self or Selfless.
My words or His. My reaction or His. My way or His.
And the person who emerges after the choice of ‘selfless’ comes out transformed slightly.
A better version of the person who went into the hard thing. The suffering. The difficulty.
It’s a slow process, mainly for our benefit, I have come to believe.
We don’t handle massive change too well. Changes that stick have to be adopted gradually, in my experience.
So, what does discipleship look like in real life?
It’s encounters with hard things. And each encounter offers the opportunity to hop back off the altar or choice of ‘my way or Yours.’
It’s never compulsory. It’s always our free will to choose.
Self-discipline.
And the transformation possible over time is astonishing. When I meet someone who is walking that road with courage and determination, I want to be like them.
They are people we gravitate to. Kind, compassionate, patient, wise, courageous, deep. Like Jesus.
Jesus said the way to get there is narrow and only a few find it. (Matt 7:14)
The Message paraphrase might say it best …
“Don’t look for shortcuts to God. The market is flooded with surefire, easygoing formulas for a successful life that can be practised in your spare time. Don’t fall for that stuff, even though crowds of people do. The way to to life – to God! – is vigorous and requires total attention.” (Matt 7:13-14, The Message)
